take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
