i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
