Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Text me some of your sweat
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
