So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
