Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
