ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
