I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
