I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
