I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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