After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
