So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
