Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
