He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
