I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize