I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
