I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
