Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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