Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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