also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
