tonight lets celebrate not being married
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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