then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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