I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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