she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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