matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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