Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Randomize
