Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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