Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
