Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
