A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
