I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
