I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
