Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize