Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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