So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
