Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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