3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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