There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
