Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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