butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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