the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize