I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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