If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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