I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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