therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
