We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
