Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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