Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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