Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
