I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
