I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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