I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My pussy is not your playground.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
