At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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