I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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