I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
