I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
