hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize