Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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