I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
