Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
