There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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