Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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