Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
